dontboreme asked: I thought I'd be courteous and even the score that I owe you for not blowing out my flat. Your last job had a loose end, best take care of that before I do.
-SH

Loose end? Ahhhh, I see.

I’ll get right on it, babe ;3

~M

havetardiswilltravel asked: Please will you fix it for me to go to see The Whistleblower with someone awesome instead of by myself? Maybe you can come and we can drool over Benedict together? Que hablas?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YES YES YES.

I will sooooooooo go with you!

Benedict’s such a cutie! You just wanna rip his face off and frame it in your room!

Anonymous asked: DEAR JIM! WILL YOU FIX IT FOR ME SO MY COMPUTER STOPS MAKING ME USE CAPS LOCK? COULD YOU BLOW IT UP OR SOME SHIT? OR JUST KIDNAP ME A COMPUTER NERD? I DONT MIND AS LONG AS IT STOPS!!!!!! ALSO CAN YOU FUCK ME BECAUSE THATD BE REAL NICE!

Well, frantic anon, Either hit the caps lock button, or release the Shift button.

also, while I’m flattered by your interest, I only go for people who show themselves ;D

Whoever stole my Season 1 of Glee, I will fucking annihilate you.

I will take my bluntest knife, skin you with it, then remove every single one of your veins.

While you’re still alive.

Give it back.

Now.

Anonymous asked: dear jim, please will you fix it for me that i don't have to start college this September? The standards are appalling and my class 'mates' are dull and hugely annoying. I was thinking an explosion before term starts that just happens to burn the building to the ground... but i'll leave it up to you. xxxxx

I may not be a miracle worker…

But I can blow shit up real nice.

Give me 12 days, I’ll have it done~

~M

First, I got home, and my DVR didn’t record my Glee episode from last night!

Then one of my workers was killed by his own bomb, so now I’m going to have to fetch another one.

And now, I’m all out of Fruitloops!

Worst. Day. Ever.

Anonymous asked: Jim,
Will you fix it that I can get back at the asshole who stole my term paper and made an A on it?

Give me a name and address dear, and I’ll see what I can do c;

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink3[dot]com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

Oh baby~

John, I think you’ve gotten a bit too Desperate. ;3